My "Jaw Journey"

I was thinking the other day... for a 27 year old, I have been through a lot... actually for a person, regardless of age, I've been through a lot. I've never really dove into all the details but I think I'm going to start. I need to share my experiences with others so I can encourage and empower people! First off I have to say that my faith and relationship in God has been the majority of my strength. I can't imagine going though it all with no hope or promise of something better.
So lets start at the beginning of my "jaw journey".... Once upon a time... haha
When I was a freshman in college (I had been in school for about a month), my dentist saw a growth on my jaw at a normal routine cleaning visit. I had no idea why she seemed so concerned and started urgently scheduling tests. I didn't even know it was there. Within a week I had a bone biopsy done. Luckily they told me they were pretty sure it was something that would resolve by the time I was 20 and should cause no more issues. The oral surgeon tried to shave down the growth so that it was smaller and less noticeable. It was so painful. I would say its was worse that wisdom teeth removal but I wouldn't know-the Lord blessed me with 0 wisdom teeth. One less surgery for my poor jaw.
Anyway, flash forward 4 years to about a month before our wedding. I kept bleeding every time I ate and it was painful, so back to the oral surgeon I went. We didn't want to do another biopsy before the wedding, so we scheduled one for when we got back from our honeymoon. 2 weeks after the honeymoon I had 1 bone biopsy done, 3 days later they called and said it was inconclusive and needed to do another. So 2 days later they did 2 more biopsies and explained that it could either be 1 of 2 things... The one option was the growth that would stop growing or a more aggressive growth that would need removal. A few days later I received the bad news that it was the aggressive growth. They informed me that is was a cemento ossifying fibroma and its extremely rare (lucky me). I had to have it removed, which meant removal of my jaw bone. So lets set yourself in my shoes for a moment. We hadn't even been married for a month and I found out I am going to have my jaw bone removed from the outside of my neck. scary. life-changing news. If I opted out of the surgery they told me it would keep growing and impair my ability to swallow because of its placement on my lower jaw. The growth was about 7cm x 4cm. pretty large. They had to remove all 4 molars on my right lower jaw in March (we found out in February, married in January). It was so much to deal with. We had just moved to Chicago, gotten married, left our friends and families, Zach had started a new job... I was however extremely thankful that it was not cancer!
My bone had to heal before they could remove the growth so the actual surgery took place in August. It was a 10.5 hour surgery. They removed 1/2 of my lower jaw through the outside of my neck. They replaced the bone with bone from my hip, cadaver bone, and a large titanium plate. I was wired shut for 4 weeks. I lost some of my nerves so I no longer have feeling in 1/2 of my lip, chin, or front teeth. My tongue and motion nerves went undamaged. Although the trauma from surgery caused my motion nerves to not function for about 3 months.
This whole situation changed our lives. I had trouble looking down, lifting, turning side to side, etc. I couldn't drive, do dishes, laundry, read... I still have muscle issues and nerve pain. I am still in physical therapy for chronic pain (over 4 years later).

It has changed Zach and I for the better. It has made us courageous and strong. We are each others support systems. No one else knows what this situation is like and it has drawn us closer together and to God. It truly was a blessing in disguise, because our marriage is better than I ever could have imagined. God has a plan and a purpose.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose.                                                               Romans 8:28

dental update

Again, weekly. Someday it will improve but for now this is what I have to offer, apparently.

Dental update: The final molds were made for my partial denture and its not very exciting. I am unable to get a metal denture, so we are trying a Flexi-denture instead. Its a little bit more pliable and is plastic. I won't get into all the details, but its not a great situation to be in. The dentist told me with my current  condition, I still wouldn't be able to chew on the right side of my mouth... probably ever. This is pretty discouraging considering I am only 27 yrs old and I haven't been able to chew using my whole mouth since I was 22. She is hopeful that this will give me some relief in regards to all the pain and issues I have been having since the surgery in 2010. I'm trying to be positive and optimistic... lots of praying.

 that is all I can elaborate on tonight...

Small Victories

Well I am showing improvement on posting, but once a week isn't what I had in mind. I was hoping for daily or every other day.. baby steps.
This past week has been difficult to post because nap time hasn't been happening like it should be. Lilah has been going down around 9 or 10 in the morning for her only nap.. that gives me enough time to shower and pick up the house. I'm hoping this is a phase. We have gotten black-out curtains in her room and we have moved bedtime to 7:15 from 8:00. She was getting up around 5:30a and now she is getting up around 7a, so I would say we have had some success! Now to get her to move nap time to after lunch. Our goal is 11:30-2. She has never been a great napper. Ill take what I can get, small victories.

Last week I received pretty discouraging news about my jaw/tooth situation. After my first dental implant attempt in January, I got a bone infection which caused the implants to fail and they had to be removed in late February. Because I had a large bone graft in 2010 from my first surgery, there isn't much blood supply (which is why they think I got the bone infection in the first place) and I lost a lot of bone from the infection. When I went back to the oral surgeon last week, he concluded there was not enough bone left to put implants in successfully. So now I'm in the process of getting a partial denture so I can finally chew on the right side of my mouth again. This is a very complicated case and I'm pretty upset that I have to deal with this for the rest of my life (pending medical advances). I am hoping that the dentist I am working with will be able to get the denture to fit comfortably so I can use it. Hopefully this will help a lot of my underlying pain problems associated with the first surgery. I have about a 50/50 chance that this will work out great... I'm trying to be positive and see the good in it, but it is still very hard to wrap my head around.

New Blog Name

I finally settled on a name that I feel encompasses most of me.
I am a stay at home mom to a toddler. Need I say more?? I'm also undergoing constant struggles with my health. Everyday has struggles but I keep going and I move forward. I plan on being more consistent with this blog (I'm going to try and use nap times better for this blog and my new hobby- photography) and I will go into more details as time goes on. I hope to encourage others through this blog, share DIY projects, talk about toddler trials, among other things.
I'm excited to (re)start this blog and I hope you enjoy it as well!

Dear Lilah: Twelve Months

Dear Lilah,
This has been such an amazing month. We have loved watching you learn, grow, and discover everything around you. You have started walking independently and everywhere, you take laps around the house all day long. You learned to give high fives and blow kissses. You point and touch mommy's finger when I point at you. You can bounce when told, catch and throw ball, you know all done and more in baby sign language. You LOVE to be tickled!!! You love to go up and down stairs! You can get off the couch by yourself, and you try to climb up the couch but still need a boost. You read books all day long! You love your baby doll and give kisses to baby doll. You also love to give baby (you) kisses in mirror and you give kisses when asked (but you can be stingy with those wet kisses). You started stacking rings and taking rings off! You get so excited when you accomplish new things! You started screaming at top of your lungs and started throwing tantrums (mostly when getting diaper/clothes changed). We also got you a straw sippy cup and you like to drink out of that versus the regular sippy cup. We are trying to get you to eat more food! All you eat is blueberries! You have 4 teeth. You are 16lbs 15oz (10%) 27.25in (3%) and your melon is 17.75in (50%). We had your birthday party the Saturday before your birthday in Champaign with most of our family! You got so many fun toys and clothes! You are so loved by everyone around you!! You are so funny, amazing, and easy-going! I love being your mommy and I cannot believe a whole year has past since you came into this world and we became parents!
Love you,
Mommy