tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-64451761509093269422024-02-19T03:46:53.473-06:00Busy and BraveBraving Motherhood, Autoimmune Disease, and Bipolar Disorder
Chantallehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01399110986525972179noreply@blogger.comBlogger46125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6445176150909326942.post-12673821103485328332019-01-22T09:23:00.000-06:002019-01-22T09:23:09.275-06:00A Fresh StartHonestly, I completely forgot this blog existed. I, mostly, use my IG account (@chantallefiscus) to share my journey. Lately, I have had a lot on my heart, things I want to say and not enough characters to share my thoughts. Luckily, Google sent me an email (God works like that sometimes!) asking if I wanted to keep the blog active. Ah-ha moment: cue the angelic "ahhhhh" song.<br />
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From here on out... I will be sharing recipes, motherhood wins and struggles, and my journey with illness.<br />
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I hope you join me on my journey!<br />
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-ChantalleChantallehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01399110986525972179noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6445176150909326942.post-28833235632312925392016-01-11T15:47:00.000-06:002016-01-12T08:07:51.556-06:00Dear Letti: 4 month Dear miss Letti,<br />
You are such a ball of light and happiness. You are giggling and rolling over on your own. You had your first ear infection and cold. You are still sleeping in mama's bed 1/2 the night and your rock n play the first 1/2 of the night. We are going to work on transitioning you into your room and crib in the next month or so. Your reflux is still eh. We are just dealing with it right now, hoping you grow out of it soon so you can be more comfortable. You are grabbing at stuff and pulling things toward your mouth. You adore your older sister. You track her everywhere and smile when she talks to you. I love seeing your relationship grow! You love to be read, talked, and sung to. We went and saw Santa after Thanksgiving. We went to Champaign for Thanksgiving and you did great in the car ride!<br />
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Chantallehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01399110986525972179noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6445176150909326942.post-87108525705596616312015-11-24T10:46:00.002-06:002015-11-24T10:46:53.384-06:00Dear Colette: 3 Month LetterDear sweet Colette,<br />
Your third month went by with flying colors. You are simply a joy to be around. You smile all the time and you started to giggle. Daddy made you giggle first. Mommy tried and tried, but he is funnier than I am, I suppose. You started grabbing the toys on your playgym thing. You also started rolling onto your side and I'm guessing in the next few days you will start rolling onto your tummy all by yourself. You do it now with a little assistance.<br />
You are around 11lbs 2oz. We have had a couple set backs when it comes to your reflux and weight gain, but I think we may have sorted it out because this past week you gained an oz a day!!! You like to sleep with mommy at night and you nurse 1-2x a night. I love the sweet snuggles.<br />
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we read stories together at night in Lilah's bed</div>
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you are so happy and expressive </div>
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Chantallehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01399110986525972179noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6445176150909326942.post-91438926933618770152015-10-14T17:18:00.004-05:002015-10-14T17:18:32.358-05:00Dear Letti: One & Two Month letter<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Dear Letti,</div>
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The first month literally flew by and I'm shocked! Where has the time gone? I am combining your first two months into one letter because time just got away from me. I'm learning to adjust to having you and your sister and trying to find our new normal. Its been hard but I wouldn't change it for anything! </div>
You are so easy going and you have such a sweet disposition. You were the smilest newborn I have ever seen! We had a little bit of a rough start... You were coombs positive and developed jaundice. You wore a biliblanket starting day one. By day 3, your bilirubin levels were still climbing, so you were admitted into the NICU for 24 hrs for triple light therapy. We got to come home on day 4! From the very beginning, I had pain when you breastfed. We got you evaluated when you were 11 days old for a lip and tongue tie. You had both. They were both pretty severe and restricted. We got them revised by Dr. Mindy, who was amazing. We took a family road trip to Morrison, IL to see her because she was a specialist and highly recommended. It was totally worth the trip. You had a bit of a rough recovery and it took us a couple weeks to get the hang of breastfeeding. We had a lactation consultant come to the house a couple times. She helped assure me that I was doing everything right, we just needed to give you some time to heal and learn how to use your tongue. She also recommended that we get you evaluated by early intervention. She thought a speech pathologist could really help you with your oral motor skills. She also noticed some sensory/transition concerns that OT may be able to help with. We got you evaluated at 7 weeks and you qualified for speech, OT, and a nutritionist, who is going to help us with your reflux. We started you on medication for reflux around one month because you were not gaining the amount of weight the dr wanted to see. You are still very uncomfortable but gaining weight spectacularly! We are going to change your medication and see if that helps your symptoms better. I also went on a diet (no dairy, eggs, soy, or nuts) to help you and it seems to be working. Once we get your reflux under control, I'll try to reintroduce foods.<br />
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You rolled from your tummy to your back around 6 weeks old, and you have done it on several other occasions. I think you think you are bigger than you are. slow down please!!</div>
You had your real first smile at 5 weeks old. You are a social butterfly. You make the sweetest coo sounds. You make me light up! You are just so easy going, despite everything going on with you. You are just so wonderful! It's amazing to watch you with Lilah. You smile at her and follow her with your eyes whenever shes around. She started sitting by your feet so you can kick her back and Lilah thinks its hilarious. She wants to play with you and she's finding ways :) I know you guys will be best friends, even though you may fight. I'm glad you guys will always have each other.<br />
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One Month: 7lbs 8oz, 20.75 in<br />
Two Months: 9lbs 15oz, 22in<br />
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First time Lilah met you</div>
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4 long days in the hospital</div>
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13 days old</div>
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one month!Chantallehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01399110986525972179noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6445176150909326942.post-82115134861208959942015-10-14T15:17:00.003-05:002015-10-14T15:17:44.396-05:00Colette Elaine: Birth StoryI was 39 weeks pregnant and the serious prodromal labor started. I say serious because I have had real contractions since about 21 weeks pregnant and was diagnosed with irritable uterus. The contractions never got more intense until 39 weeks and they were not causing changes to my cervix. Every night I would go to bed saying, if they wake me up, I'll call the midwife. On Wednesday I told Zach I had a feeling I would go into labor on Thursday (my due date was on Saturday). Thursday came and I was having contractions but nothing unmanageable. I made cookies after Lilah went down and we went to bed around 10 pm. 11:30, I woke up with contractions (STILL THURSDAY!) I took a bath to see if I was having false labor and they slowed down a bit. As soon as I got out of the tub, the intensity picked up. By 1am, I was on the phone with the midwife because the contractions had gotten so intense. She told us to come in. We arrived around 3a and we were admitted! I was 4 cm. Lilah had to come with us to the hospital because we couldn't get a hold of anyone to stay with her at the house. Our friend came and got her from the hospital around 4a. We let Zach's mother know that I was in labor and she came up to stay with Lilah while we were in the hospital. I took a shower to try and relieve some of the pain, but nothing really helped. I was nauseous and vomiting and my body wouldn't stop shaking. Around 7a I was still at 4cm. We decided to get an epidural. Around 8:30a, I had the best anesthesiologist insert the epidural! I could still feel everything but the intense pain and nausea went away. I was able to move my feet and legs still. I had to breathe through every contraction. I still felt in control. It was the perfect combo. Letti was rotated along my right side, which put her at a high risk for being born posterior, so we tried some different positions and got her to flip so her back was on my left side. Around 8cm my contractions spaced out a lot, causing some concern. The midwife suggested we break my bag of water to see if we could get the process moving again. we decided to go ahead and break my water since Letti was in a good position and I didn't want to have other interventions. This happened around 11am. It was like the flood gates opened. The midwife left the room to chart and seconds later I was pushing. She ran back in the room, and Letti was born at 11:34a. While I was pushing, Letti was in distress and I had to wear oxygen. She had the cord wrapped around her neck and was blue for a little while after she was born. She was immediately placed on my chest. I said right then and there, Let's do this again! Everything was perfect. I would not have changed a single thing about it.<br />
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Colette Elaine Fiscus<br />
Friday, August 14, 2015<br />
11:34a<br />
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6lbs 10oz, 20 inches long</div>
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Chantallehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01399110986525972179noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6445176150909326942.post-40455958303522525862014-10-18T21:55:00.001-05:002014-10-18T21:55:31.190-05:00My "Jaw Journey" I was thinking the other day... for a 27 year old, I have been through a lot... actually for a person, regardless of age, I've been through a lot. I've never really dove into all the details but I think I'm going to start. I need to share my experiences with others so I can encourage and empower people! First off I have to say that my faith and relationship in God has been the majority of my strength. I can't imagine going though it all with no hope or promise of something better.<br />
So lets start at the beginning of my "jaw journey".... Once upon a time... haha<br />
When I was a freshman in college (I had been in school for about a month), my dentist saw a growth on my jaw at a normal routine cleaning visit. I had no idea why she seemed so concerned and started urgently scheduling tests. I didn't even know it was there. Within a week I had a bone biopsy done. Luckily they told me they were pretty sure it was something that would resolve by the time I was 20 and should cause no more issues. The oral surgeon tried to shave down the growth so that it was smaller and less noticeable. It was so painful. I would say its was worse that wisdom teeth removal but I wouldn't know-the Lord blessed me with 0 wisdom teeth. One less surgery for my poor jaw.<br />
Anyway, flash forward 4 years to about a month before our wedding. I kept bleeding every time I ate and it was painful, so back to the oral surgeon I went. We didn't want to do another biopsy before the wedding, so we scheduled one for when we got back from our honeymoon. 2 weeks after the honeymoon I had 1 bone biopsy done, 3 days later they called and said it was inconclusive and needed to do another. So 2 days later they did 2 more biopsies and explained that it could either be 1 of 2 things... The one option was the growth that would stop growing or a more aggressive growth that would need removal. A few days later I received the bad news that it was the aggressive growth. They informed me that is was a cemento ossifying fibroma and its extremely rare (lucky me). I had to have it removed, which meant removal of my jaw bone. So lets set yourself in my shoes for a moment. We hadn't even been married for a month and I found out I am going to have my jaw bone removed from the outside of my neck. scary. life-changing news. If I opted out of the surgery they told me it would keep growing and impair my ability to swallow because of its placement on my lower jaw. The growth was about 7cm x 4cm. pretty large. They had to remove all 4 molars on my right lower jaw in March (we found out in February, married in January). It was so much to deal with. We had just moved to Chicago, gotten married, left our friends and families, Zach had started a new job... I was however extremely thankful that it was not cancer!<br />
My bone had to heal before they could remove the growth so the actual surgery took place in August. It was a 10.5 hour surgery. They removed 1/2 of my lower jaw through the outside of my neck. They replaced the bone with bone from my hip, cadaver bone, and a large titanium plate. I was wired shut for 4 weeks. I lost some of my nerves so I no longer have feeling in 1/2 of my lip, chin, or front teeth. My tongue and motion nerves went undamaged. Although the trauma from surgery caused my motion nerves to not function for about 3 months.<br />
This whole situation changed our lives. I had trouble looking down, lifting, turning side to side, etc. I couldn't drive, do dishes, laundry, read... I still have muscle issues and nerve pain. I am still in physical therapy for chronic pain (over 4 years later).<br />
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It has changed Zach and I for the better. It has made us courageous and strong. We are each others support systems. No one else knows what this situation is like and it has drawn us closer together and to God. It truly was a blessing in disguise, because our marriage is better than I ever could have imagined. God has a plan and a purpose.<br />
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<i>And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose. </i>Romans 8:28<br />
<br />Chantallehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01399110986525972179noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6445176150909326942.post-89913417372461795282014-08-06T20:37:00.003-05:002014-08-06T20:38:33.217-05:00dental updateAgain, weekly. Someday it will improve but for now this is what I have to offer, apparently.<br />
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Dental update: The final molds were made for my partial denture and its not very exciting. I am unable to get a metal denture, so we are trying a Flexi-denture instead. Its a little bit more pliable and is plastic. I won't get into all the details, but its not a great situation to be in. The dentist told me with my current condition, I still wouldn't be able to chew on the right side of my mouth... probably ever. This is pretty discouraging considering I am only 27 yrs old and I haven't been able to chew using my whole mouth since I was 22. She is hopeful that this will give me some relief in regards to all the pain and issues I have been having since the surgery in 2010. I'm trying to be positive and optimistic... lots of praying.<br />
<br />
that is all I can elaborate on tonight...Chantallehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01399110986525972179noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6445176150909326942.post-32021859345546100522014-07-30T13:54:00.001-05:002014-07-30T13:54:27.090-05:00Small VictoriesWell I am showing improvement on posting, but once a week isn't what I had in mind. I was hoping for daily or every other day.. baby steps.<br />
This past week has been difficult to post because nap time hasn't been happening like it should be. Lilah has been going down around 9 or 10 in the morning for her only nap.. that gives me enough time to shower and pick up the house. I'm hoping this is a phase. We have gotten black-out curtains in her room and we have moved bedtime to 7:15 from 8:00. She was getting up around 5:30a and now she is getting up around 7a, so I would say we have had some success! Now to get her to move nap time to after lunch. Our goal is 11:30-2. She has never been a great napper. Ill take what I can get, small victories.<br />
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Last week I received pretty discouraging news about my jaw/tooth situation. After my first dental implant attempt in January, I got a bone infection which caused the implants to fail and they had to be removed in late February. Because I had a large bone graft in 2010 from my first surgery, there isn't much blood supply (which is why they think I got the bone infection in the first place) and I lost a lot of bone from the infection. When I went back to the oral surgeon last week, he concluded there was not enough bone left to put implants in successfully. So now I'm in the process of getting a partial denture so I can finally chew on the right side of my mouth again. This is a very complicated case and I'm pretty upset that I have to deal with this for the rest of my life (pending medical advances). I am hoping that the dentist I am working with will be able to get the denture to fit comfortably so I can use it. Hopefully this will help a lot of my underlying pain problems associated with the first surgery. I have about a 50/50 chance that this will work out great... I'm trying to be positive and see the good in it, but it is still very hard to wrap my head around.<br />
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<br />Chantallehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01399110986525972179noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6445176150909326942.post-89350748428943590482014-07-23T14:59:00.000-05:002014-07-23T15:29:06.650-05:00New Blog NameI finally settled on a name that I feel encompasses most of me.<br />
I am a stay at home mom to a toddler. Need I say more?? I'm also undergoing constant struggles with my health. Everyday has struggles but I keep going and I move forward. I plan on being more consistent with this blog (I'm going to try and use nap times better for this blog and my new hobby- photography) and I will go into more details as time goes on. I hope to encourage others through this blog, share DIY projects, talk about toddler trials, among other things.<br />
I'm excited to (re)start this blog and I hope you enjoy it as well!<br />
<br />Chantallehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01399110986525972179noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6445176150909326942.post-79717677137226486702014-02-20T12:22:00.000-06:002014-02-24T21:23:39.774-06:00Dear Lilah: Twelve MonthsDear Lilah,<br />
<a href="https://scontent-a-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc1/t1/1962871_1000361148084_2111235649_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://scontent-a-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc1/t1/1962871_1000361148084_2111235649_n.jpg" width="240" /></a>This has been such an amazing month. We have loved watching you learn, grow, and discover everything around you. You have started walking independently and everywhere, you take laps around the house all day long. You learned to give high fives and blow kissses. You point and touch mommy's finger when I point at you. You can bounce when told, catch and throw ball, you know all done and more in baby sign language. You LOVE to be tickled!!! You love to go up and down stairs! You can get off the couch by yourself, and you try to climb up the couch but still need a boost. You read books all day long! You love your baby doll and give kisses to baby doll. You also love to give baby (you) kisses in mirror and you give kisses when asked (but you can be stingy with those wet kisses). You started stacking rings and taking rings off! You get so excited when you accomplish new things! You started screaming at top of your lungs and started throwing tantrums (mostly when getting diaper/clothes changed). We also got you a straw sippy cup and you like to drink out of that versus the regular sippy cup. We are trying to get you to eat more food! All you eat is blueberries! You have 4 teeth. You are 16lbs 15oz (10%) 27.25in (3%) and your melon is 17.75in (50%). We had your birthday party the Saturday before your birthday in Champaign with most of our family! You got so many fun toys and clothes! You are so loved by everyone around you!! You are so funny, amazing, and easy-going! I love being your mommy and I cannot believe a whole year has past since you came into this world and we became parents!<br />
Love you,<br />
Mommy<br />
<br />
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Chantallehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01399110986525972179noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6445176150909326942.post-59523362170383081972014-02-19T22:20:00.001-06:002014-02-20T12:21:22.066-06:00Positive ParentingLilah and I joined MOPS at South Park Church in Park Ridge about 4 months ago. Today was probably the best session. Dr. Brad Olson came and talked to us about how to be "successful parents". As parents we have a lot of influence but we really don't have any true control. Our main goal of parenting is to grow a kid; not teach them to obey. When you get in the mundane battles with your kids day in and day out, stop and think about principles... what are you trying to accomplish long term for their life and character. We need to create relationships with our kids and create resilient kids who can bounce back from whatever life throws at them. We know that life never goes as planned and we need to have the ability to change and adapt- this is the definition of mental health. Olson called this positive bounce.<br />
In order to create positive bounce, there are 6 principles we need to incorporate into our parenting.<br />
~Positive Thoughts~ Remember your voice becomes their inner voice. Some negatives to watch out for are ruination, perfectionism, obedience, self-blame, malicious intent, and approval.<br />
~Positive Words~ Watch out for: NO, Why (just inviting a lie by asking this question), Should (shame), Have to, Need (comes across as manipulative), "Lecture" (should be said in 10 words or less)<br />
~Positive Touch~ We are not a touchy culture and our kids need to be touched! Some cultures touch friends 180x an hour. We need to make sure we connect with our kids through positive touch!<br />
~Positive Rewards~ We learn through rewards and experience, so we need to create a safe environment where kids can learn through experience and earn rewards- after all we are just "mice in a maze". The system Olson went into would be called a "bribe system" by most, but it makes a lot of sense. As adults we don't do anything without a reward. The difference between adults and kids is the intrinsic rewards system. Kids wont fully discover this until adulthood; So until then we supply tangible rewards. Try not to make the rewards things bought like toys/candy/etc.. instead try to keep a list of the things the child asks to do and make those rewards: Watch TV, have a sleep over, have a friend over, pick the movie on movie night, go for ice cream, etc.<br />
~Positive Time~ Special playtime- one on one time where parent does what child wants to do and DOES NOT PARENT, usually around 30 mins a day per kid. Just having the "Be With" attitude. Special playtime works best for ages 3-11yr. After that you need to adapt to the childs new interests. Maybe do breakfast once a week- just spend time together alone! (**This is the most important for a child with ADHD or a child acting out**)<br />
~Positive Feedback~ Find things your child is good at and emphasize it! Let the child live on their own "island of competence"! Also remember the "Pygmalion effect"- the child will only do as well as you tell them they will. Make sure you point out good behaviors and not just negative behaviors!<br />
<br />
Book Recommendations:<br />
<i>How People Grow</i> by Henry Cloud<br />
<i>Raising Resilient Children</i> by Robert Brooks<br />
<i>Your Defiant Child</i> by Russell A. Barkley<br />
<i>1-2-3 Magic</i> by Thomas W. Phelan<br />
<i>Love and War</i> by John and Stasi Eldridge<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<a href="http://bradleyolson.net/">BradleyOlson.net</a><br />
<div>
<br />
*This was written from memory and may not be exactly what he said- but the points are similar and I wrote this for me so I can try and be a positive parent in the future!<br />
<br />
_________________.______________.______________.______________.________________<br />
<br />
Here are his lecture notes:<br />
<br />
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<b>STARTING POINT- Positive
Bounce-Back/Resilience: <o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
Q: What is “Mental Health”?</div>
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A: The Ability to Adapt to Change- Resilience</div>
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<br /></div>
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Q: What is your “job” as a parent? Prevent bad things from happening? Make sure
he/she behaves?</div>
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A: Provide a “safe place” (love, security, structure,
consistency, instruction, etc.) for your child to grow</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
A: Help your child bounce back from life-knocks… not
prevent them from happening (Resilience) </div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]-->-<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->See “Raising Resilient Children” by Robert
Brooks </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
Q: Do you possess a mindset that fosters resilience in
your children?</div>
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A: Resilience Mindset Quiz</div>
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<br /></div>
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Q: How much power or influence do you have on your
child’s choices or behaviors?</div>
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A: A lot… <b>but not
total- get over yourself- you don’t have that much power over your child’s
choices</b></div>
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A: Good parents have kids who make bad choices- Bad
parents have kids who make good choices</div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]-->1.<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]--><b>Positive
Thoughts: fear your child will make big mistakes in life, you will speak to
your child out of that fear; fear your child will not achieve in life, you will
speak to your child out of that fear… </b></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->a.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]-->What
are your greatest fears for your children? It is our fears that form our
thoughts- that form our words</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->b.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]-->Without
information, we make up stories in our head- mostly negative</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->c.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]-->It
is not the event itself that freaks me out- it is the story I make up in my
head that freaks me out</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->d.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]-->What
Parents Think- Misguided Assumptions and Problem Beliefs:: </div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.5in; mso-list: l1 level3 lfo2; text-indent: -9.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->1.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]--><b>Ruination:</b> if parents give too much
freedom, the child will make mistakes or
misbehave in ways which will ruin their future lives</div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]-->2.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]--><b>Perfectionism:</b> children should
instinctively know how to behave properly all the time without any parental
intervention, and it is terrible upsetting if they do not always behave perfectly</div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]-->3.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]--><b>Obedience:</b> children should always do
what their parents say without questioning their parent’s judgment</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.5in; mso-list: l1 level3 lfo2; text-indent: -9.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->4.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]--><b>Self-blame:</b> parents are at fault for
child’s mistakes or misbehavior</div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]-->5.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]--><b>Malicious Intent:</b> children misbehave on
purpose to hurt their parents</div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]-->6.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]--><b>Approval:</b> it is terribly upsetting if
children do not approve of parent’s rules, regulations, and decisions</div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]-->e.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]-->What
Children Think- Misguided Assumptions and Problem Beliefs:</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.5in; mso-list: l1 level3 lfo2; text-indent: -9.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->1.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]--><b>Ruination:</b> if parents put too many
restrictions on children, this will ruin the child’s life</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.5in; mso-list: l1 level3 lfo2; text-indent: -9.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->2.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]--><b>Fairness:</b> parent’s rules are terribly
unfair and unjust</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.5in; mso-list: l1 level3 lfo2; text-indent: -9.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->3.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]--><b>Autonomy:</b> child should have as much
freedom as they desire</div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]-->4.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]--><b>Approval:</b> it is catastrophic for child if
parents do not approve of the child’s actions</div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]-->2.<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]--><b>Positive
Words: Do you want to be RIGHT or in RELATIONSHIP with your child?</b></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->a.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]-->Words
that foster insecurity and conflict (words that often invite a fight or just
feel “bad” on the receiving end):</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.5in; mso-list: l1 level3 lfo2; text-indent: -9.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->1.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]--><b>No</b>- The average toddler hears the word
"no" an astonishing 400 times a day, according to experts. That's not
only tiresome for you but it can also be harmful to your child: According to
studies, kids who hear "no" too much have poorer language skills than
children whose parents offer more positive feedback. "Plus, saying no can
become ineffective when it's overused — a little like crying wolf," says
Claire Lerner, director of parenting resources at Zero to Three, a nonprofit
that studies infants and toddlers. Some kids simply start to ignore the word;
others slip into a red-faced rage the minute that dreaded syllable crosses your
lips. </div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 2.0in; mso-list: l1 level4 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->-<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Alternatives: “food is for eating, not
flinging”; “I know you like ice cream, but too much ice cream is not good for
us”; "Yes, you can have candy after dinner. Let's go look for an apple for
now."</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.5in; mso-list: l1 level3 lfo2; text-indent: -9.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->2.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]--><b>Why</b> did you do that… Why can’t you… “Why”</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 2.0in; mso-list: l1 level4 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->-<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]--> invites
defense and lies- Encourages deception or sneakiness </div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.5in; mso-list: l1 level3 lfo2; text-indent: -9.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->3.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]-->You <b>should </b>be nice… </div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 2.0in; mso-list: l1 level4 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->-<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->“should” breeds shame and guilt</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.5in; mso-list: l1 level3 lfo2; text-indent: -9.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->4.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]-->You <b>have to</b>…</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 2.0in; mso-list: l1 level4 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->-<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Actually… no, I don’t…</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.5in; mso-list: l1 level3 lfo2; text-indent: -9.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->5.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]-->I <b>need</b> you to… </div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 2.0in; mso-list: l1 level4 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->-<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Again, no I don’t-and no, you don’t </div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 2.0in; mso-list: l1 level4 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->-<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Feels manipulative- and leaves the child with no
personal choice to do it</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.5in; mso-list: l1 level3 lfo2; text-indent: -9.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->6.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]--><b>Too many words</b> (lecture)… again – close
to nagging</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 2.0in; mso-list: l1 level4 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->-<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Nagging breeds resentfulness, defensiveness</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 2.0in; mso-list: l1 level4 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->-<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Makes child feel inadequate, criticized,
personally attacked</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->b.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]-->Words
that foster resilience and relationship:</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.5in; mso-list: l1 level3 lfo2; text-indent: -9.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->1.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]-->I’m sorry-
reflects a relationship – because rules without relationship are meaningless</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.5in; mso-list: l1 level3 lfo2; text-indent: -9.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->2.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]-->Noticing
the good- unexpectedly </div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.5in; mso-list: l1 level3 lfo2; text-indent: -9.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->3.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]-->Understanding
before being understood</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.5in; mso-list: l1 level3 lfo2; text-indent: -9.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->4.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]-->Mottos
rather than lectures: </div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 2.0in; mso-list: l1 level4 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->-<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->say it in 10 words or less- or you are reducing
listening next time- say the same thing over again- hearing by repetition</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 2.0in; mso-list: l1 level4 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->-<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->“You is Kind. You is Smart. You is Important.”</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.75in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
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id="Picture_x0020_8" o:spid="_x0000_i1028" type="#_x0000_t75" style='width:537pt;
height:1.5pt;visibility:visible;mso-wrap-style:square'>
<v:imagedata src="file:///C:\Users\CHANTA~1\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image001.png"
o:title=""/>
</v:shape><![endif]--><!--[if !vml]--><img height="2" src="file:///C:/Users/CHANTA~1/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image002.png" v:shapes="Picture_x0020_8" width="716" /><!--[endif]--></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><b>3.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-weight: normal;"> </span></b><!--[endif]--><b>Positive & Meaningful Touch:<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->a.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]-->A
study from the 1960s by pioneering psychologist Sidney Jourard, who studied the
conversations of friends in different parts of the world as they sat in a café
together. He observed these conversations for the same amount of time in each
of the different countries. What did he find? In England, the two friends
touched each other zero times. In the United States, in bursts of enthusiasm,
we touched each other twice. But in France, the number shot up to 110 times per
hour. And in Puerto Rico, those friends touched each other 180 times!</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->b.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]-->The
Touch Research Institute is dedicated to studying the effects of touch therapy.
The TRIs have researched the effects of massage therapy at all stages of life,
from newborns to senior citizens. In these studies the TRIs have shown that
touch therapy has many positive effects. For example, massage therapy:</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.75in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->Facilitates weight gain in preterm infants</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.75in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->Enhances attentiveness</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.75in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->Alleviates depressive symptoms</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.75in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->Reduces pain</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.75in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->Reduces stress hormones</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.75in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->Improves immune function</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->c.<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Touch influences truth: Coin in phone
booth/Librarian/Therapist-Client </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->d.<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->We also know that touch builds up cooperative
relationships—it reinforces reciprocity between our primate relatives, who use
grooming to build up cooperative alliances. There are studies showing that
touch signals safety and trust, it soothes. Basic warm touch calms
cardiovascular stress. It activates the body’s vagus nerve, which is intimately
involved with our compassionate response</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->e.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]-->Virginia
Satir, a respected family therapist, has said "(w)e need four hugs a day
for survival. We need eight hugs for
maintenance. We need twelves hugs a day
for growth." And, research in a Korea orphanage demonstrated a significant
boost in the health and growth of infant orphans who received an extra 15
minutes a day of physical touching. There is a magic in hugging. This simple form of affection boosts a young
child's mental and physical development.
Hugging aids in the development of life skills.</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->f.<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Sadly, research shows that female infants
receive almost five times as much hugging and touching as males. And the Univ. of Pittsburgh reports that when
it comes to soothing, holding or playing, American children receive
significantly less contact than those of other cultures. As our children grow older we tend to forget
the importance of hugging. Yet, it may
be as vital for teenagers to be hugged and affirmed as it is for young
children.</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->g.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]-->Meaningful
Touch… Especially from Dad – which does not have to be marathon hug-a-thons –
it can be brief and simple touch:</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.5in; mso-list: l1 level3 lfo2; text-indent: -9.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->1.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]--> in the August issue of Social Psychology of
Education, French psychologist Nicolas Guéguen instructed the professor of a
120-person statistics class to give the same verbal encouragement to any
student who volunteered to solve a problem at the front of his classroom. But
to a randomly selected group of students within the class, the professor also
gave a slight tap on the upper arm when speaking to them. Guéguen compared the
volunteer rate of those who were touched to those who were not, and found that
students who were touched were significantly more likely to volunteer again. In
fact, roughly 28 percent of those who were touched volunteered again, compared
with about nine percent of those who were not. Drawing on previous research in
the field, Guéguen speculates that a touch to the arm may have infused
participants with a feeling of self-confidence that motivated their positive
behavior. “It is possible that touching, coming from a high-status person, is
perceived as a sign of distinction,” he writes. “The effect would have been to
overcome the inhibition of correcting the exercise in front of his/her
classmates.”</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
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id="Picture_x0020_3" o:spid="_x0000_i1027" type="#_x0000_t75" style='width:537pt;
height:1.5pt;visibility:visible;mso-wrap-style:square'>
<v:imagedata src="file:///C:\Users\CHANTA~1\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image001.png"
o:title=""/>
</v:shape><![endif]--><!--[if !vml]--><img height="2" src="file:///C:/Users/CHANTA~1/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image002.png" v:shapes="Picture_x0020_3" width="716" /><!--[endif]--></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><b>4.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-weight: normal;"> </span></b><!--[endif]--><b>Positive Rewards:<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->a.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]-->Is
it the parent’s job to make sure the child learns? NO- learning happens whether with or without
parents- so lighten up…</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->b.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]-->Parent’s
job is to provide the safety, security, opportunity, stability, and permission
to <b>experience</b> learning and growth-
providing the Ingredients of learning & growth: <b>GRACE-TRUTH-TIME</b></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->c.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]-->How
do we learn? By hearing a lecture? By being led? By role-modeling? By
experience? </div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.5in; mso-list: l1 level3 lfo2; text-indent: -9.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->1.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]--> We learn by Living</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.5in; mso-list: l1 level3 lfo2; text-indent: -9.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->2.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]--> Like mice in a maze… we are shaped by rewards –
based on “Premack Principle”</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.5in; mso-list: l1 level3 lfo2; text-indent: -9.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->3.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]--> Use B-Mod Plan- in some form- ALWAYS- </div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 2.0in; mso-list: l1 level4 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->-<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Positive more than negative/ rewards more than
consequences</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 2.0in; mso-list: l1 level4 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->-<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Immediate rewards more than delayed</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 2.0in; mso-list: l1 level4 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->-<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Frequent rewards more than sparse</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 2.0in; mso-list: l1 level4 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->-<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Unexpected rewards included</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 2.0in; mso-list: l1 level4 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->-<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Rewards that are meaningful to the child- not
the parent</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 2.0in; mso-list: l1 level4 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->-<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Tangible rewards work better- poker chips</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 2.0in; mso-list: l1 level4 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->-<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Simple list of targeted behaviors</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 2.0in; mso-list: l1 level4 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->-<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Menu of rewards to cash in for</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 2.0in; mso-list: l1 level4 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->-<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Removes arguments, lectures, nagging</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 2.0in; mso-list: l1 level4 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->-<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Resembles adult life- job and paycheck for work</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.5in; mso-list: l1 level3 lfo2; text-indent: -9.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->4.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]-->Resistance
to behavioral modification plan:</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 2.0in; mso-list: l1 level4 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->-<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Isn’t it “bribing” my child?</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 2.0in; mso-list: l1 level4 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->-<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Shouldn’t they learn to do things because it’s
right or they should?</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 2.0in; mso-list: l1 level4 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->-<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->We tried it- but it didn’t work</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 2.0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in;">
(see <b>FamilySafeMedia.com</b>, see <b>“Your
Defiant Child” by Russell Barkley</b>)</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
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o:title=""/>
</v:shape><![endif]--><!--[if !vml]--><img height="2" src="file:///C:/Users/CHANTA~1/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image002.png" v:shapes="Picture_x0020_4" width="716" /><!--[endif]--></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->5.<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]--><b>Positive
Time: “Rules Without Relationship is
Meaningless” & “LOVE = TIME”</b></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->a.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]-->Create
an environment of safety and relationship</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.5in; mso-list: l1 level3 lfo2; text-indent: -9.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->1.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]--> Being genuine & congruent</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.5in; mso-list: l1 level3 lfo2; text-indent: -9.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->2.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]--> Unconditional love and acceptance- even if not
approving of all behavior</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.5in; mso-list: l1 level3 lfo2; text-indent: -9.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->3.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]--> Empathic understanding- warm understanding of
child’s world</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><b>b.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-weight: normal;">
</span></b><!--[endif]-->Provide <b>“Special
Play Time”<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.5in; mso-list: l1 level3 lfo2; text-indent: -9.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->1.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]--> 20 minutes per day from each parent</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.5in; mso-list: l1 level3 lfo2; text-indent: -9.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->2.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]--> No lectures- no teaching- no disciplining- no
instilling of values- no judgments- no requirements</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.5in; mso-list: l1 level3 lfo2; text-indent: -9.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->3.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]--> Enter the child’s world- play what the child
plays- let the child direct the time</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.5in; mso-list: l1 level3 lfo2; text-indent: -9.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->4.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]--> Notice the behaviors- comment positively only </div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->c.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]--><b>“Be With” Attitudes: </b> Your intent in your actions, presence, and
your responses are most important and should convey to your child: “I am here—I hear/see you—I understand—I
care.”</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<!--[if gte vml 1]><v:shape
id="Picture_x0020_5" o:spid="_x0000_i1025" type="#_x0000_t75" style='width:537pt;
height:1.5pt;visibility:visible;mso-wrap-style:square'>
<v:imagedata src="file:///C:\Users\CHANTA~1\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image001.png"
o:title=""/>
</v:shape><![endif]--><!--[if !vml]--><img height="2" src="file:///C:/Users/CHANTA~1/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image002.png" v:shapes="Picture_x0020_5" width="716" /><!--[endif]--></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->6.<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]--><b>Positive Feedback
(from the world) Builds Resilience:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->a.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]-->I
become who I am told- “Pygmalion Effect” </div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 2.0in; mso-list: l1 level4 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->-<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->The "Pygmalion Phenomenon" is the
self-fulfilling prophecy embedded in teachers' expectations. Simply put, when
teachers expect students to do well and show intellectual growth, they do; when
teachers do not have such expectation performance and growth are not as
encouraged and may in fact be discouraged in a number of ways. Research
suggests that our expectations strongly influence the performance of those
around us from the members of our football team to the students in our classes.</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->b.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]-->Resilience
comes from knowing and experiencing my gifts or strengths- I get positive
strokes from that</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->c.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]-->Unfortunately,
the world does not always give the positive feedback to children that helps
them grow in competence and resilience-
it is the job of parents to find the “Islands of Competence” for the child –
make a way for him/her to live there… often</div>
</div>
</div>
Chantallehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01399110986525972179noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6445176150909326942.post-6307919127050042922014-02-05T20:29:00.000-06:002014-02-20T12:23:49.287-06:00Dear Lilah: Eleven MonthsDear Lilah,<br />
Mommy is late this month... We were in San Francisco for your Daddy's 27th birthday and your eleven month "birthday". When we got back, we found out you had an ear infection. So you have not felt good and have been needing mommy much more than you normally do!<br />
You got 2 teeth (upper teeth) this month! So now you have 4 teeth! You moved into 6-9 month clothing!! You weigh 16lbs 6oz and are 27in tall.<br />
We went to San Francisco with Granddaddy and Nonni. You did fantastic on both flights! You didn't cry once!! We found out your favorite movie is Mulan, so we watched that on the tablet G-daddy got you for Christmas. You were absolutely fantastic on the whole trip- you are a born traveler! It was a piece of cake travelling with you and so much fun! You are such a happy, fun loving kid!<br />
You started to point at objects and people; its been pretty helpful in deciphering your language. You sit on your knees and you do the "toddler squat". I find these things so adorable. You are becoming a little toddler for sure. You no longer look like a chubby little baby, not that you were ever chubby, but you are getting thin and lanky! Everyday is more fun! You are amazing and I love watching you grow and blossom into a little girl!<br />
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Chantallehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01399110986525972179noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6445176150909326942.post-37348857894290800692013-12-28T20:41:00.000-06:002014-02-20T12:24:12.295-06:00StrugglesFor those of you that don't know, I was diagnosed with Bipolar II (a more mild form of bipolar) in the summer of 2011. I have been able to cope with it without the use of medication. Mostly because the medications are unsafe during pregnancy and breastfeeding. Everyday is a struggle though. I don't know if I am going to be manic or depressed. I can't remember a day where I was neither. Today was especially hard. My body hit a depressed day, and I'm guessing it's from the die down of all the festivities of the holidays. When this happens- like today- I get in a daze and completely exhausted. No sleep is enough sleep. I am not myself during the depressed days. I feel like its harder to be a mom. I have low patience and I feel so drained of energy. I feel so guilty when I can't give 110% to Lilah. On manic days, I need very little sleep and I always want to do things with her. On those days, it seems very easy to be a mom and a wife. Its just getting through the depressed days or weeks. Luckily, today, Zach was home and was able to help out so much! I really am truly blessed to have such an amazing husband and father of my child!<br />
<br />Chantallehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01399110986525972179noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6445176150909326942.post-23487888016925409732013-12-25T00:05:00.001-06:002014-02-20T12:24:26.772-06:00Dear Lilah: Ten MonthsDear Sweet Lilah,<br />
This past month, you have really made your presence known! You enjoy talking/screaming/yelling very loudly to anyone that will listen, or just to yourself... You have no volume control at all. I am hoping you will outgrow this phase :) You started singing along to music by trying to match pitch and "sing the words". Its crazy to watch you try and figure it out. You continue to dance and bounce to music! You are a pro crawler now and decided that you would rather crawl than try and walk... although you can walk! You have walked about 4 ft all by yourself! You wave bye-bye! You get so excited to tell people bye! You had Roseola this past month- lasted about a week and it was not fun! You got your 3rd tooth (top left) on Saturday the 21st! This round of teething has been a bout of torture for you. The good thing that has come out of the teething and Roseola is you now will cuddle sometimes when you nap! I absolutely love the snuggles!! You started scrunching up your nose when you laugh or get upset- its adorable! Daddy and I are working on trying to get you sleeping through night... eventually it will happen!<br />
Christmas is here (mommy is late posting this month's letter) and we are so excited to experience this with you! You love wrapping paper and ribbon so far! Hopefully you like the actual gifts and not just the boxes- Christmas will have to be another post. Its getting very late! We love you so very much! And we love watching your personality blossom! You are such an incredible little girl, I am so blessed to be your mommy!<br />
<br />
Love you always,<br />
Mommy<br />
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Chantallehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01399110986525972179noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6445176150909326942.post-65004622619382229442013-12-09T14:06:00.001-06:002014-02-20T12:25:01.923-06:00One day at a time.As I sit here, holding my sleeping child, I start to get frustrated and question my parenting. Should I have let her cry in her crib? Why isn't the Tylenol working? I need to eat lunch and clean the bathroom!! And then I get mad at myself. This day is only going to happen today. My baby is almost a toddler and I won't get a ton of opportunities to just hold her while she sleeps. So what if the bathroom doesn't get cleaned today... Today, Lilah just needs her mommy to hold her so she can nap. It's 1:45p and she has only cat napped for about 15mins since she got up today. It's been a long, miserable day for my little teething punky, but I'm trying to enjoy this day.<br />
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I'm so blessed to be at home with her while she's a baby. Being a stay at home mom is very hard work. It's exhausting and so rewarding. It's a 24 hr job, 7 days a week. Breastfeeding is wonderful (now) but it's also a job- and it's still an around the clock job. I've just accepted that I may not sleep a whole night through until she's over a year. And I'm ok with that. I honestly think I am going to miss the 4a feeding. If you know me, you know that I love my sleep. I will sleep 12-14hrs a night if I can. There is just something kind of magical about early morning snuggles in the dark with my baby girl. Just me and her. I look at her and I can't believe how blessed I am to be her mom. I pray for her and our little family while I look down at her sweet, innocent, little face. I try to imagine what the future holds for her... I wish I could take away all of the heartbreak she will encounter and the pain she will feel. I hope that she grows up to be a loving, caring, compassionate, smart, loyal, and genuine woman. And I hope that I can instill some of those characteristics into her. </div>
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Being a parent is such an incredible thing- it can be scary and overwhelming but it's worth every grey hair she may give us. </div>
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Chantallehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01399110986525972179noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6445176150909326942.post-5460330472973832642013-11-22T20:57:00.002-06:002014-02-20T12:25:17.842-06:00Dear Lilah: Nine MonthsDear Lilah,<br />
<a href="https://scontent-b-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/1422354_952777605884_428020458_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://scontent-b-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/1422354_952777605884_428020458_n.jpg" width="240" /></a>Oh Pumpkin, this month has been a crazy month of firsts! You started crawling, standing by yourself, cruising all over, and taking solo steps!! You are going to be walking any day! You also started giving BIG, open mouth, slobbery kisses; they are the best!!! You have been pushing the boundaries when it comes to nap-time. Many times this past month you have only been taking one nap in the afternoon. That makes our day long and rough. You also had a stretch of days were you wouldn't sleep night or day. That was very hard. We took you to a pediatric allergist and she did a skin test that showed us you are allergic to milk, eggs, peanuts, and dogs. So far, Zoey doesn't seem to be a problem, so we are just keeping the house clean and her out of your room. I had to go back on a breastfeeding diet to accommodate your allergies which hasn't been too bad! They put you on an allergy medicine for nighttime but I haven't noticed a huge difference so we are in the process of weaning you off of it now. They also gave us an epi pen and told us to keep that and Benedryl with us at all times. We will get a blood test done next summer to find out the severity of your allergies- for now, we are just going to avoid those things!<br />
When we went to the doctor, you were 26.5in tall (12%) and 15lb (5%)! You met all your development markers and are advanced for most of them! You are in 6mo clothing, and I'm thinking you will need to move to 9mo pjs soon bc you are getting "long"!<br />
You are an absolute joy to be around! You love to laugh and be tickled! You LOVE to dance to any music!! You are such an amazing sweetheart and I am so glad I get to be your mama!<br />
<br />
Love you always,<br />
MommyChantallehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01399110986525972179noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6445176150909326942.post-13880007127931442102013-10-30T14:18:00.001-05:002014-02-20T12:25:34.830-06:00Dear Lilah: Eight MonthsDear Lilah,<br />
<a href="https://scontent-b-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/1239977_924958310974_270766951_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://scontent-b-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/1239977_924958310974_270766951_n.jpg" width="240" /></a><a href="https://scontent-a-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/1208962_928692921784_1697953406_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://scontent-a-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/1208962_928692921784_1697953406_n.jpg" width="200" /></a>You are a little firecracker! You are so full of energy, love, and happiness! It's such a joy and blessing to be home with you everyday! I wouldn't have it any other way!! This past month, we went to the apple orchard/ pumpkin patch and Auntie Lauren tagged along! You loved the tractor ride and being outside! We went to Champaign and you went to your first tailgate! You were such a trooper and SO happy for everyone! You are either SO happy or miserable. I don't know if you have figured out a happy medium yet. It's definitely an adventure with you everyday. You love to watch other kids! You get so excited- red face, ear to ear grin, and laughter! its amazing :) You are starting to try and "crawl" but its more like an army crawl or a little inch worm. You have also started trying to stand by yourself! you pull yourself up to standing and then let go! I bet you will be walking soon! You use me as a jungle gym and you flop all over me and the couch! little daredevil you are! <br />
We have started giving you whole foods instead of purees because you really like to be in control! You love fruits! You babble to yourself all the time and you get pretty loud! You just wanna be heard! Daddy and I just watch you for hours! You are so entertaining!<br />
You are still in 6/3-6 month clothing. I'm guessing you are around 14.5-15lbs.<br />
You are such an amazing little girl and I cant believe you are going to be a year old soon! <br />
Time has flown by!!<br />
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I love you with all my heart!<br />
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XOXO,<br />
MommyChantallehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01399110986525972179noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6445176150909326942.post-87652973475580212032013-10-03T16:49:00.003-05:002014-02-20T12:25:54.179-06:00Dear Lilah: Seven MonthsDear Lilah,<br />
<a href="https://scontent-a-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/534323_921120257464_575098649_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://scontent-a-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/534323_921120257464_575098649_n.jpg" width="240" /></a>Sweet baby girl, this month was a rough one. You had a fever the majority of the month. Right before you turned 7 months, you got a flu bug which turned into an ear infection and we had to put you on an antibiotic. every since then, you have been such an incredibly happy baby girl! You started trying to clap :)<br />
You are trying to move! You are pulling up to stand on everything you can get a hold of! You are chatting up a storm with strings of constants! da, pa, ga, ba, la ... an occasional ma and squeals!! You have been napping much better since we started sleep training! You are still waking up at night around midnight and 4-5a.<br />
You weigh 14lbs but you are a happy healthy baby girl :) just petite! You got your first 2 teeth! the bottom middle ones popped through this month :)<br />
<br />
I'm loving all your baby giggles and toothy smiles :) I just can't get enough of you!<br />
Love you, pumpkin!<br />
XOXO,<br />
MommyChantallehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01399110986525972179noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6445176150909326942.post-68660915984228464192013-08-19T14:38:00.002-05:002014-02-20T12:26:14.555-06:00Dear Lilah: Six MonthsDear Lilah,<br />
Oh, sweet girl!! You are a firecracker. You are always 110%, whether you are mad/sad or happy! You never hold back! Sometimes this can be challenging and I am trying to learn what makes you tick still. I try what the books say but<br />
<a href="https://sphotos-b-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/1175197_907330247754_1957233445_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://sphotos-b-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/1175197_907330247754_1957233445_n.jpg" width="240" /></a> you are far from textbook. We are trying little bits of everything and sadly I think we are going to have to resort to letting you cry it out (in moderation) to help you sleep. You have gotten to the point where you don't sleep enough so you are overtired which leads to more not sleeping. Its a vicious cycle. We have started solids! You LOVE sweet potatoes! You have tried carrots, squash, and bananas as well. You are sitting up all by yourself! You love to bounce and chatter away! We are still breastfeeding and that is going well! You do get distracted very easily... but otherwise we aren't having any issues in that department! Pitch Perfect is your favorite movie, always puts a smile on your face :) Just more evidence that you love music! Goodnight Moon is your favorite bedtime storybook right now!<br />
Mommy passed her Respiratory Therapy boards this month!!! So I am officially an RRT and have started applying for jobs! I am torn about going back to work, but I know it will be good! We will just have to play it by ear and make it work!<br />
You are 13lbs 13.8oz (12%) and 25.5in long. You still fit in 0-3mo clothing but we are mostly in 3-6mo clothes now! Doctor wants us to start solids 2x a day and she wants us to get rid of nighttime feedings (after 12a). You still wake up around 11p and 4a. You begin everyday around 7:30a! You have only been napping 2-3x a day and about 30mins each (most always under 2hrs of naps total).<br />
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I love you so much! I cannot believe you are 6mo already! You are such an amazing little girl :)<br />
<br />
XOXO<br />
Love, MommyChantallehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01399110986525972179noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6445176150909326942.post-33671319748119480492013-07-23T13:51:00.000-05:002014-02-20T12:26:30.944-06:00Dear Lilah: Five MonthsDear Lilah,<br />
This month has been a crazy one! I feel like you are changing and developing everyday! Each day I'm shocked by the new things you do! This morning you rolled from your back to tummy ALL BY YOURSELF! I was just like, WHAT? It was only last week that you rolled from your belly to back. You are growing up so fast! You are getting better at sitting up on your own, too! If we stand you up and hold your little hands, you try and walk. You definitely have the marching in place down! You LOVE LOVE LOVE music! You will stop whatever you are doing to "dance" and bounce and you get a big smile on your face! Maybe you'll be a dancer or musician? We are still working on a schedule and trying to get you sleeping through the night. You still wake up 1-2x a night to eat. We are also trying to start introducing solids. You are really good at opening your mouth for the spoon and I think you are consuming more than you are spitting out! We've done rice cereal and carrots so far.<br />
<br />
Earlier this month, someone brought to my attention a possibility of a tongue or lip tie b/c of your symptoms (arching and screaming while nursing, unable to drink a bottle... it took you 20mins to drink 2 oz from a bottle, unable to stay latched, slow weight gain...). I did some research and it appeared to me that you had an upper lip tie. So I called pediatrician and they told me to make an appt with an ENT. She "examined" you and told me that you looked normal, although your lip did attach pretty low...::eye roll from me:: and if you did have a lip tie, it would in no way effect nursing. So I talked to your dad and we agreed to get a second opinion. I made an appt with Dr. Margolis who specializes in tongue and lip ties. I was so thankful someone listened to me! You had a class 4 upper lip tie (which is the worst) and a class 2 posterior tongue tie. He only recommends revisions for class 3 and 4 so we left your tongue tie, but had your lip tie lasered. The effects were immediate! I nursed you right after the procedure and could tell that your latch was different and deeper! You didn't pull off or scream either! The recovery was a little rough the first couple of days but you were still a different kid! So much happier! You were and still are eating SOO much better! I don't have anxiety anymore about taking you out in public. I would say 90% of the day you are happy which was not happening before the revision. I was sick of the nurses and drs telling me to switch you to formula or that you still had colic! I knew something wasn't right and I am so glad someone informed me of this issue and I followed my gut and got this fixed for you! I think you are up around 14lbs now! We are transitioning into 3-6mo clothing but you still fit into most of your 0-3mo outfits. We also just moved to size 2 diapers! You are getting rolls on your legs, finally! You have the cutest little chubby hands and feet! (Speaking of feet, you started sucking on your toes recently!) You also have crazy hair that has a mind of its own; a natural mohawk! It just wants to stick straight up :)<br />
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I just love you so much! You are a true joy to be around!<br />
<br />
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Love you forever, </div>
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Mommy</div>
<br />Chantallehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01399110986525972179noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6445176150909326942.post-39016160065284948102013-06-25T14:31:00.001-05:002014-02-20T12:26:53.067-06:00Dear Lilah: Four MonthsDear Lilah,<br />
<a href="https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/9355_879597529344_198811500_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/9355_879597529344_198811500_n.jpg" width="240" /></a>This month has been a crazy one! You started laughing! Which is the best sound in the world! Especially after a long day... You still aren't rolling over on your own, you can with a little help (if we cross your legs you will roll from your back to tummy). You are not a fan of tummy time although you get your head and chest high off the ground! (Dr. V says you are definitely strong enough to roll over so it should happen any day now.) This month you started lighting up for daddy when he gets home from work and at times your prefer him to hold you over me. He has that special way you like to be held and I can't imitate it b/c you just scream when I try! So yay daddy! :) We have pretty much gotten you on a 3 nap/day schedule and most of them are in your crib. Although lately you have started to be very clingy and naps have been more of a struggle. So I spoil you and hold you or let you nap in the swing for the time being! We've just gotta make it through this wonder week(s) and hopefully we will go back to normal! Same goes for nighttime sleep. You were only waking up once a night to eat (3a) and now its several times. Again the wonder week is to blame I've been told. You have started putting everything in your mouth and using both hands to do so! You are discovering new things everyday! Including your feet! At first you would just stare in amazement now you are grabbing them all the time!! You continue to be an extreme chatterbox, "talking" and "singing" for hours at a time non-stop and no, I am not exaggerating! You are very entertaining! You also started pushing up to stand! You may be small but you very strong!<br />
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Earlier this month your medicine and/or my diet were helping you eat with little problems. But shortly before our appointment with the GI dr you started screaming and arching again. She upped your dosage again but its not working like we have hoped. I'm to continue with my diet until you are 6 months old, for now. Dr. V told us to start you on rice cereal to try and help with the reflux. We've tried it a couple times and its not going too well. You were diagnosed with eczema this past month as well and so we get to grease you up 2-3x a day with heavy lotion and we also had to cut bath time down to 1-2x a week. You have scratch marks all over your head and legs and I feel so bad that you itch :( I'm hoping it gets better very soon! At your 4 month appt you were 12lbs 1oz which puts you in the 10th percentile for weight. You were 24.5in long! You are still wearing 0-3/3 month clothing. Although you are starting to get too long for your footie jammies, so we may have to move to 3-6 month pjs soon!<br />
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Daddy and I are so amazed by you everyday and I am excited to see what this upcoming month brings!<br />
We love you, baby girl!<br />
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xoxo<br />
MommyChantallehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01399110986525972179noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6445176150909326942.post-78869138816010926102013-05-28T15:43:00.000-05:002014-02-20T12:27:04.721-06:00Dear Lilah: Three MonthsDear Lilah,<br />
So Mommy is a little late writing this letter to you this month! I'm sorry! You have kept me very busy, little girl :) We went to the doctor last week and you gained 24oz in 3 weeks! (compared to 3oz in almost 2 weeks earlier this month.) So you were 11lbs 13oz (13 percentile) last week!! Mommy has had to be on an extremely strict diet to try and help you with eating! I cant eat dairy, soy, eggs, or nuts, but it seems to be helping :) We also upped your dosage of Zantac and I think the combo is helping :) We go back to the GI dr in a couple weeks... we will see what she says! But I'm pretty confident we wont have to start you on formula!<br />
This past month you have started to enjoy your play mat/gym and actually started grabbing as well as swatting the toys! Your favorite toy on your gym is Mr. Octopus :) he was the first toy you put in your mouth by yourself! You also giggled for the first time last week! I was playing peek-a-boo with you and when i popped up you giggled at me! It was the best sound I've ever heard! We are still trying to get you to repeat it.. I know it will happen again very soon :) You are getting very strong and doing well during tummy time! I know you are going to roll over soon! You also started sleeping on your side a night!<br />
We went to Champaign for Aunt Lauren's college graduation! You did pretty well :) You got to hang out with Great Aunt Rose and Great Uncle Mike!!<br />
You are still waking up one or two times a night to eat, but for the most part nighttime is pretty under control! You have also decided that you do not like taking naps during the day!! Which is rough on me, but we get an occasional cat nap in there every now and then! This upcoming month, we are gunna try to get you on a schedule! I'm hoping that since you are eating better and gaining weight like a champ, that a normal schedule will be obtainable. You still nurse every 2-3 hours.<br />
You have become a huge chatterbox! You make all kinds of sounds, mostly vowels, with some consonants . And you have discovered that you can get very loud with your "words". Its so cute :)<br />
(You are still in 0-3/3mo clothing and size 1 diapers)<br />
Overall you are a blessing and a joy to be around! I love you so much and I miss you like crazy when we are apart! (This includes bedtime ;))<br />
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Love you so much sweet baby girl, </div>
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<br />Chantallehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01399110986525972179noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6445176150909326942.post-278326110450524672013-04-26T11:42:00.000-05:002014-02-20T12:27:15.868-06:00Dear Lilah: Two MonthsDear Lilah,<br />
This month has been challenging for all of us. The colic phase hit around week 5. At this point you also started crying during mealtime... everyone kept telling us it was just the age for fussiness and gas. At your 2 month appointment, the doctor said you have reflux and we put you on Zantac. I'm still waiting for the medicine to kick in so you wont be in pain while you eat.<br />
You started smiling and being a little more interactive with us! You love to "chitchat" with daddy on the changing table! We started a bedtime routine that you love! We started bath time, which always makes you smile :) And then we read you a couple books! We moved you into your nursery last week and you are doing great in your crib! You still wake up around 2:30a to eat but you sleep great in between feedings :)<br />
We went to Champaign for Easter! You got to meet my side of the family! Everyone was so excited to meet you :) A lot of our friends got to meet you as well!<br />
<a href="https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/15199_856029270324_2141016849_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/15199_856029270324_2141016849_n.jpg" width="320" /></a> You are really trying to figure out your fingers and how to suck on them! You make funny sucking noises too :) You are starting to prefer your fingers to your paci... you are growing up so fast :)<br />
You are very active! You are kicking and moving your arms like crazy! You like to stand on our laps and be upright all the time! You need to be moving constantly and you LOVE music! The black keys- tighten up, seems to be your favorite song! It's the only one that calms you down when you are really upset.<br />
At your appointment you weighed 10lbs 1.6oz, you were 22.5in long, and your head measured 14 3/4in around. You are in the 19% for weight and 50% for height! (you dropped from 29% last month for weight which is one of the reasons we started the medicine.)<br />
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I'm looking forward to the next month! I love watching you grow and develop! I love you so much!!<br />
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Love, Mommy<br />
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Chantallehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01399110986525972179noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6445176150909326942.post-76798054032331151692013-03-21T14:06:00.000-05:002014-02-20T12:27:36.077-06:00Dear Lilah: One MonthDear Lilah,<br />
One month down! And WOW did it fly by! It has been an amazing transition into parenthood! It has been full of anxiety, stress, sleepless nights, lots of laughter, projectile vomit and poop, loads and loads of laundry, many midnight calls to the nurse, and lots of love!<br />
Around one week, you started sleeping through the night (in between feedings, which were about every 2-3hrs). We finally got your days and nights on track!! By 2 weeks you were holding your head up when I put you up on my shoulder and you were turning your head from side to side during tummy time. You seem to enjoy tummy time, at least in short increments.<br />
<a href="https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/600179_10200873355062509_366569975_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/600179_10200873355062509_366569975_n.jpg" width="400" /></a>At 2.5 weeks old, we took you on your first road trip to Lafayette, IN for Cousin Adrienne's wedding! You slept the whole way (besides feeding time), during the whole wedding, and reception! You met your Great Grandpap and Grandma Pozonsky! They were so excited to finally meet you!<br />
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Daddy stayed home with us until you were almost 2 weeks old. Grandma Paula came and stayed for a week and then Nonni came and stayed with us for a week! This has been my first week alone with you and so far we have been doing great and having fun! At your 1 month appointment you were 8lbs 8oz and 21 5/8in long and your head was 14 1/4in around. You are still in newborn clothing. You are long and skinny :) Doctors say you are gaining weight beautifully! We are not having anymore problems breastfeeding! Your favorite place to fall asleep is on my and daddy's chest! You love your swing and bouncy seat! At one month you are only waking up once a night (2-3a) to eat! I greatly appreciate the extra consecutive hours of sleep! You are overall a very content, happy, sweet baby girl :)<br />
We have had a great first month and I am looking forward to what this upcoming month brings!<br />
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Love,<br />
MommyChantallehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01399110986525972179noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6445176150909326942.post-46917699723857452372013-02-28T13:26:00.001-06:002014-02-20T12:27:55.246-06:00How It Happened: Birth of Lilah AnnetteSorry this post has been delayed. Adjusting to life with a newborn has been rough, but wonderful :)<br />
I wanted to write down what happened last week and how Lilah made her arrival (more for my sake).<br />
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I went to the doctor on Feb 18 (my due date and 40w) and they performed a non-stress test and an ultrasound to see how Lilah was doing since I was full term. On the NST I was contracting every 4-8mins. When I went in for the ultrasound, my amniotic fluid was VERY low. I didnt even see the doctor. They sent me straight to L&D. I of course had to go home and grab my bags and my husband, so we arrived in L&D about an hour or so after my appt. When we arrived, they checked me and I was 1/2cm dilated and maybe 25% effaced (very little was happening basically). They decided to insert a bulb into my cervix to manually dilate me to 3-4cm. It was around 2:15p when the induction started. (They insert the bulb inside the cervix and then fill it up with saline and wait until it opens enough to fall out.) They said it could take up to 12hrs. It was very uncomfortable and the cramps/contractions were awful. I could not get comfortable! About 3.5hrs later, the bulb fell out. When they checked me, I was only at 2cm. I was a little frustrated. I was contracting on my own every 4-5mins so they decided to let me contract and see if my body would naturally go into active labor before starting me on pitocin. It did not. So around 10pm they started me on pitocin. They started me off around 2cc and would go up as needed every 15min. The highest I got was 7cc and then they had to taper it down to 4 or 5cc b/c my body was contracting harder and more often then it needed to. I got the epidural around midnight because the pain was just to much and I knew it was going to be a long labor process. At that point I was still 2cm. They checked me again around 4:30am and I had progressed to 4-5cm and my water had broken on its own. Again at 7am and I was still at 4-5cm. During this time my epidural was not cooperating. The anesthesiologist came back in 2 or 3 times to give me an extra boost and it would only last a couple hours before I was in intense pain again. Around 10:30am the anesthesiologist decided we needed to redo the epidural since it was functioning properly. I was so thankful! The new one worked like a charm! They checked me again at 11am and I was fully dilated and 100% effaced! Lilah was only at a 0 station and she needed to be at a 2 before pushing could begin. They told me I needed to "labor down" until she dropped low enough into the birth canal. I made it to maybe a 1 before the urge to push was overwhelming, so they let me start pushing. it was around 12:10p when I actually started pushing. Almost 2hrs later, she made her debut at 1:58pm Tuesday afternoon! The NICU team had to be there because of the low fluid situation. So I didnt get to hold her right away. They checked her out, cleaned her off, and took her vitals. She was 7lbs 6oz and 20in long. She was perfect :)<br />
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She developed jaundice (levels were at a 8 at 2days old, went up to 11.2 by Friday morning). Her weight was down to 6lbs 9oz on Friday as well. We had to supplement some formula over the weekend to try and get her weight up and the poop coming! lol! On Monday morning her levels were down to 4.6 and she had gained 4oz! (The dr said they like to see a little less than an ounce a day of weight gain so she was doing FANTASTIC, 4oz in 3days!!) No more doctor visits or formula supplements!!! Everyone is excited about that! My milk came in Friday/Saturday so I think that had a huge impact on her weight gain. She hated the formula and we could barely get her to eat it.<br />
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Overall everyone is doing well and adjusting! We have had a few bad nights and a few great nights! We are thankful for the sleep we get whenever we get it! We could not be happier though! She is amazing and we are both head over heals in love with her!Chantallehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01399110986525972179noreply@blogger.com0