One day at a time.

As I sit here, holding my sleeping child, I start to get frustrated and question my parenting. Should I have let her cry in her crib? Why isn't the Tylenol working? I need to eat lunch and clean the bathroom!! And then I get mad at myself. This day is only going to happen today. My baby is almost a toddler and I won't get a ton of opportunities to just hold her while she sleeps. So what if the bathroom doesn't get cleaned today... Today, Lilah just needs her mommy to hold her so she can nap. It's 1:45p and she has only cat napped for about 15mins since she got up today. It's been a long, miserable day for my little teething punky, but I'm trying to enjoy this day.

I'm so blessed to be at home with her while she's a baby. Being a stay at home mom is very hard work. It's exhausting and so rewarding. It's a 24 hr job, 7 days a week. Breastfeeding is wonderful (now) but it's also a job- and it's still an around the clock job. I've just accepted that I may not sleep a whole night through until she's over a year. And I'm ok with that. I honestly think I am going to miss the 4a feeding. If you know me, you know that I love my sleep. I will sleep 12-14hrs a night if I can. There is just something kind of magical about early morning snuggles in the dark with my baby girl. Just me and her. I look at her and I can't believe how blessed I am to be her mom. I pray for her and our little family while I look down at her sweet, innocent, little face. I try to imagine what the future holds for her... I wish I could take away all of the heartbreak she will encounter and the pain she will feel. I hope that she grows up to be a loving, caring, compassionate, smart, loyal, and genuine woman. And I hope that I can instill some of those characteristics into her. 

Being a parent is such an incredible thing- it can be scary and overwhelming but it's worth every grey hair she may give us.